Pandora, I hate you

The boy mentioned that he started keeping a journal this year. Last night I found it. It made my heart break. No, he hasn't been bad he's just questioning everything a lot more than I am which made me so sad.

It serves me right anyway going through his private things but I quickly rationalised that away saying that if he actually, you know, TALKED about things I wouldn't HAVE to look through it to figure out what the hell is going through the boy's head. And if he did trust me enough to talk I wouldn't have looked anyway. Yeah, crap excuse so I deserve the Pandora's box I opened.

Some of the things he wrote were very sweet, some made me go oh?, ("I think I have managed to maintain a certain level of emotional detachment so that if things end I'll be disappointed but not devastated") and some things made me so mad (comparisons to ex's for example) and some made me just want to walk away and never come back again because it's not right. I shouldn't be loving him more than he'll let himself love me. For the love of me I don't know why I'm sticking around.